How are you today?

As a Brit I have spent my fair share of time slagging off the Americans and, as a nation, they do have some questions to answer but as individuals they are the nicest people. Welcoming, helpful, positive, and with a “can do” attitude which whether superficial and false or not and it appears genuine, it is incredibly refreshing! God (if there is one) bless America!

So I’m in a good mood today! Its 5.30 am I am sitting picnic table in the middle of a forest (ok a forest campsite!) 40 miles from the North rim of the Grand Canyon clear blue skies above the pines and the only company I have are some tiny chipmunks darting around, a skunk which fortunately is keeping its distance and some birdsong but the best thing is its cold and it’s been raining it’s great to put on a jumper because when its baking hot you just think it’s going to be like that for ever.

We left Bryce Canyon yesterday somewhere we were supposed to have been 20 years ago for which Tina has been nipping my ear and now it’s done. Remarkable place! Vast, though not on the scale of the Grand Canyon but so good after seeing it at Sunset we had to take another look in the morning.

O’Donnell (Angela) gem of the day on us all planning a trail walk “that’s great! Because it’s a circular walk if we get tired half way we can just walk back!”

So Many Questions!

So many questions .... so much to learn.

Q:  How did Zions landscape evolve?

A:  Through land pressures forming the Colorado Plateau and erosion by the Virgin River.

Q:  How did Bryce Canyon get to be soooo orange?

A: Seaway deposition of sediments 60 million years ago-millions of years later followed the deposition of iron rich, limey sediments from highland rivers and streams.

Q: Whats a Hoodoo?

A: A pillar of rock, usually of fantastic shape, left by erosion. From the West African word derivative hoodoo- to cast a spell. Thus at Bryce Canyon these fantastic array of rock formation were named Hoodoos.

Q: How big is the Grand Canyon?

A: 277 river miles long, upto 18 miles wide and a mile deep.

Q: How fast would your fall be from the highest point of the Grand Canyon at Point Imperial (at 8803ft)?

A: Approx  512 miles an hour as long as you don’t hit the sides! (Kiran worked this one out!)

Q: How do you empty the sluice from a motorhome?

A:Dont know/Dont care/Not my job!!!


Tina

"Please don't be having sex at the back of the van!"

Having collected our RV, Kim’s biggest concern that having watched the sex ed show on channel 4 and that “all parents have sex at least 3 times a week even really old ones!!” that there might be festival of fornication on our rubberised mattress in the confines of our very large tin box in 40⁰ heat. Having had some caravan experiences as a hormonally laden teenager (those stories still make me laugh!) I know the difficulties of such a situation and despite my reassurance that the American built suspension system would easily cope, unfortunately Tina reassured Kim that there would be “none of that kind of stuff going on” for the rest of the holiday!!  Oh well that’s that little detail sorted out then!!

Kim’s concern however pales in insignificance as the rest of us worry that despite almost and hour of induction on the O’Donnell RV wagon Angela and John are unable to switch the engine on!! OMG do we a new van, do we need a mechanic to replace the ignition no John “we just need to turn the key properly!” I am sure there will be other gems to follow from the very loveable O’Donnells.

So after a mega shop in a mega supermarket we head out into the desert. My god it’s HOT! With the AC full blast it’s still like a tandoor in here!!The landscape is impressive though, vast plains and craggy arid mountains for miles and miles. Eventually our friendly American sat-nav voice brings us to Zion. (that sounds a little religious!). Unfortunately is pitch black and for various reasons, which I am not going to admit, to we miss our camp spot but we do end up in a fantastically organised RV park. BBQ on at 10pm - dinner and bed.

GRB

The Eiffel Tower is outside my Window

 Feels like I’m on some mind altering drug!! The clock says 9pm my brain tells me 5am, its 41⁰C, this is the desert, I’m in a hotel room with a bathroom as big as a hotel room and a shower cubicle bigger  than most bathrooms and the Eiffel Tower is outside my window!!

Las Vegas is mad – it’s like some crazy American super concentrate of fakery but all done in a way that even if you don’t like it you can’t help but be impressed by it.

I am surrounded by a zillion lights, a million slot machines, mad buildings which when your inside, but for the iced-chilled air, you feel like you might be outside, and when you get outside, enveloped in hot sugary air, there are erupting volcanoes and 500 foot fountains, it’s like being part of some giant weird reality show.

The people are the best though,  it’s 6:30 in the morning and walking from the hotel shop with some new toothpaste I come across an octogenarian woman in the lift complete with designer jeans, sparkly baseball cap, two “f**k off” diamond, sapphire and ruby rings zimmering into the casino with her husband on electric wheels on tow, nocturnal crowds of whooping young guys rolling dice, hypnotised  slot machine addicts feeding their machines, all sustained with food and drink by over enhanced waitresses in various states of undress!! And then there’s me with two tubes of toothpaste and my new sandals worried that somehow just walking past, I will be sucked into a vortex of debauchery and sin!!  

No such luck!

GRB