The second night in the camper van. I enjoy a wonderful 8:30pm-2:30am sleep. After a snooze that could only have lasted an hour or two I felt invigorated, joyous and energetic when my dad switches on the lights and wakes me up at 7:30am.
I have my breakfast etc. and enjoy the beautiful and tranquil scenery of Canberra'a finest camper van park which hosts only A-list celebrities and the uppermost echelons of society.
I go to the shower block - to partake in my daily wash. These showers have a range of experiences to offer. One nanometer of the dial to the right offers you your very own chance to experience hypothermia. Whilst the same distance to the left offers you the sublime sensation of 3rd degree burns.
Before I have the chance to experience this again, I am met with a little old man who greets me good morning and proceeds to tell me about a bowel problem. A delightful conversation topic to have with a stranger.
I was about 3 minutes into my shower when I realise that the old man's bowel problem was going to be a significant event in my morning.
The sound coming from that small cubicle was something I've never heard before. It was a multi-genre blockbuster - best described as the Battle of Britain followed by a small tsunami, concluded with a loud moan of pleasure and pain - like an orgasm paired with a hard kick in the testicles.
Before the fumes mixed with the shower steam to create a weapon of mass destruction - I escaped to seek refuge inside our overly spacious camper van.
As we take off to our next destination, I daydream - looking outside the window - I can only imagine the wonders we will encounter on our tour of Australia's finest camp sites.
