Kiran's Oz

The second night in the camper van. I enjoy a wonderful 8:30pm-2:30am sleep. After a snooze that could only have lasted an hour or two I felt invigorated, joyous and energetic when my dad switches on the lights and wakes me up at 7:30am.

I have my breakfast etc. and enjoy the beautiful and tranquil scenery of Canberra'a finest camper van park which hosts only A-list celebrities and the uppermost echelons of society.

I go to the shower block - to partake in my daily wash. These showers have a range of experiences to offer. One nanometer of the dial to the right offers you your very own chance to experience hypothermia. Whilst the same distance to the left offers you the sublime sensation of 3rd degree burns. 

Before I have the chance to experience this again, I am met with a little old man who greets me good morning and proceeds to tell me about a bowel problem. A delightful conversation topic to have with a stranger.

I was about 3 minutes into my shower when I realise that the old man's bowel problem was going to be a significant event in my morning.

The sound coming from that small cubicle was something I've never heard before. It was a multi-genre blockbuster - best described as the Battle of Britain followed by a small tsunami, concluded with a loud moan of pleasure and pain - like an orgasm paired with a hard kick in the testicles.

Before the fumes mixed with the shower steam to create a weapon of mass destruction - I escaped to seek refuge inside our overly spacious camper van. 

As we take off to our next destination, I daydream - looking outside the window - I can only imagine the wonders we will encounter on our tour of Australia's finest camp sites. 

Just popping in for a dip!

maybe that wasn't such a good idea!

and if anyone thought for a split second that might be me WRONG!! 

1. I'm scared of water
2. I'm very scared of waves
3. I'm shit scared of wearing speedo's!

The Boyles have landed!

mystified in Manly!

This photo makes me laugh so much! Ok so we are in Australia we must go to the beach! So here we are "Manly Beach" - what do we do now! 4 of us already have suntans, 2 of us do not like to be anything other than fully clad in public, and the public would prefer that 2 of us remained fully clad, 2 of us don't like sand in our socks, 4 of us think that trying to stand on a board and being knocked off by big dangerous waves (ok they look big and dangerous to us!) looks completely pointless and none of us can really swim! 

WE DO NOT BELONG HERE!!!!!!!

The cure? - Wine, beer, ice-cream and chips! Instant transformation from awkward family silence to the Boyles in balance again!

SPOT THE DIFFERENCE

Its like one of those spot the difference competitions!

Except this one should be pretty easy!!!  

Tammy the tour Guide

Well spotted! Here is Tammy the Tour Guide. If you come to Bangkok you have to look up this company tour with tong. What a great morning we had escaping from Bangkok to see a couple of well trodden tourist spots but with Tammy what a pleasure! 

Floating Market Trader BBQ on a canoe

Roasted Frogs on a Stick

Coconut pancakes

Train Market

Fresh veg galore

Great morning exploring an authentic market full of incredible seafood and veg produce but all built on a railway track. Every time the train comes in the traders have to partially dismantle their stalls to avoid being dragged away by the train. Then onto the Floating market - a well known tourist haunt but brilliant all the same with an incredible array of the usual tack but some amazing food mostly based on seafood soups and coconut with fresh veg chillies and herbs - cooked, served and consumed on small teak canoes on a maze of canals.

All rounded off today with me winning the prize for being the first to be properly and justly shouted at because I was the definitely the most annoying!! Great!!!!!!

Bangkok Drug Bust

"You have got to be F******G joking" catch phrase returns as my concerned looking teenage daughter Kim hands me these sachets telling me that she found them in our Bangkok Hotel bathroom! Phone the police - flush it down the bog, snort a line?!!!! 

"Kiddin on!" she smirks - turns out snorting "Fairy - non bio" would not be such a good idea - seems that our Thai Hotelier shares Kim's wicked sense of humour by packing some washing detergent in very suspicious packaging!

Keeping calm!

Visiting Bangkok requires the patience of a Buddhist, which as you all know I absolutely don't have! As a result I have decided to embrace the chaos to fully appreciate and absorb the wonderful sights, sounds and smells this fabulous place has to offer.

So far this has stood me in good stead, through the relentless bartering at Patpong market, including the constant pester power of touts asking if we would like to see a "Ping Pong show"!!! The girls ask me what this is  : o ............

I even stay calm at the awful traffic and the insistence of the tuk tuk drivers that we take detours to visit various tailors, jewellers and tourist shops so they can get paid in petrol vouchers- we feel sorry for our driver with horrendous rheumatoid arthritis and his synovitic joints. I don't even get irate when a car hits our taxi (against my door!), resulting in us having to wait for nearly an hour for the police to sort it all out.

But the relentless heat and humidity is causing me to get fractious and insanity hovers when i have to wander around the Grand Palace wearing my only (wooly) jumper to cover my shoulders. Oh how i dream of weather back in my beloved Glasgow! Thai people don't know what they are missing!

Tina

"Daddy, daddy I need the toilet!"

After standing in the inevitable Heathrow queues with the usual commotion of families off on their summer travels I had to laugh when Kiran commented on how much of a pain travelling with kids must be. 

It doesn't seem that long ago when standing in a very similar queues with 1000 people in front and  behind I would hear the stress inducing sentence "Daddy, daddy I need the toilet!" or  worse "Daddy, daddy I done a poo!"  or experiencing the reflex cupping of hands trying to catch a volley of vomit from one of my offspring and only managing a finger sieve of partially digested breakfast! The thought "You have got to be F****G joking" coming out of my mouth before it could be suppressed,  raising Schadenfreude smiles amongst my fellow travellers that I now relish as a spectator.

Today we have the distinct pleasure of travelling with a 20 year old who can smile with us and whose honed student drinking habits managed to sniff out a free vodka cocktail promotion in duty free. An apt celebration to travelling with your kids!