How are you today?

As a Brit I have spent my fair share of time slagging off the Americans and, as a nation, they do have some questions to answer but as individuals they are the nicest people. Welcoming, helpful, positive, and with a “can do” attitude which whether superficial and false or not and it appears genuine, it is incredibly refreshing! God (if there is one) bless America!

So I’m in a good mood today! Its 5.30 am I am sitting picnic table in the middle of a forest (ok a forest campsite!) 40 miles from the North rim of the Grand Canyon clear blue skies above the pines and the only company I have are some tiny chipmunks darting around, a skunk which fortunately is keeping its distance and some birdsong but the best thing is its cold and it’s been raining it’s great to put on a jumper because when its baking hot you just think it’s going to be like that for ever.

We left Bryce Canyon yesterday somewhere we were supposed to have been 20 years ago for which Tina has been nipping my ear and now it’s done. Remarkable place! Vast, though not on the scale of the Grand Canyon but so good after seeing it at Sunset we had to take another look in the morning.

O’Donnell (Angela) gem of the day on us all planning a trail walk “that’s great! Because it’s a circular walk if we get tired half way we can just walk back!”

So Many Questions!

So many questions .... so much to learn.

Q:  How did Zions landscape evolve?

A:  Through land pressures forming the Colorado Plateau and erosion by the Virgin River.

Q:  How did Bryce Canyon get to be soooo orange?

A: Seaway deposition of sediments 60 million years ago-millions of years later followed the deposition of iron rich, limey sediments from highland rivers and streams.

Q: Whats a Hoodoo?

A: A pillar of rock, usually of fantastic shape, left by erosion. From the West African word derivative hoodoo- to cast a spell. Thus at Bryce Canyon these fantastic array of rock formation were named Hoodoos.

Q: How big is the Grand Canyon?

A: 277 river miles long, upto 18 miles wide and a mile deep.

Q: How fast would your fall be from the highest point of the Grand Canyon at Point Imperial (at 8803ft)?

A: Approx  512 miles an hour as long as you don’t hit the sides! (Kiran worked this one out!)

Q: How do you empty the sluice from a motorhome?

A:Dont know/Dont care/Not my job!!!


Tina

"Please don't be having sex at the back of the van!"

Having collected our RV, Kim’s biggest concern that having watched the sex ed show on channel 4 and that “all parents have sex at least 3 times a week even really old ones!!” that there might be festival of fornication on our rubberised mattress in the confines of our very large tin box in 40⁰ heat. Having had some caravan experiences as a hormonally laden teenager (those stories still make me laugh!) I know the difficulties of such a situation and despite my reassurance that the American built suspension system would easily cope, unfortunately Tina reassured Kim that there would be “none of that kind of stuff going on” for the rest of the holiday!!  Oh well that’s that little detail sorted out then!!

Kim’s concern however pales in insignificance as the rest of us worry that despite almost and hour of induction on the O’Donnell RV wagon Angela and John are unable to switch the engine on!! OMG do we a new van, do we need a mechanic to replace the ignition no John “we just need to turn the key properly!” I am sure there will be other gems to follow from the very loveable O’Donnells.

So after a mega shop in a mega supermarket we head out into the desert. My god it’s HOT! With the AC full blast it’s still like a tandoor in here!!The landscape is impressive though, vast plains and craggy arid mountains for miles and miles. Eventually our friendly American sat-nav voice brings us to Zion. (that sounds a little religious!). Unfortunately is pitch black and for various reasons, which I am not going to admit, to we miss our camp spot but we do end up in a fantastically organised RV park. BBQ on at 10pm - dinner and bed.

GRB

The Eiffel Tower is outside my Window

 Feels like I’m on some mind altering drug!! The clock says 9pm my brain tells me 5am, its 41⁰C, this is the desert, I’m in a hotel room with a bathroom as big as a hotel room and a shower cubicle bigger  than most bathrooms and the Eiffel Tower is outside my window!!

Las Vegas is mad – it’s like some crazy American super concentrate of fakery but all done in a way that even if you don’t like it you can’t help but be impressed by it.

I am surrounded by a zillion lights, a million slot machines, mad buildings which when your inside, but for the iced-chilled air, you feel like you might be outside, and when you get outside, enveloped in hot sugary air, there are erupting volcanoes and 500 foot fountains, it’s like being part of some giant weird reality show.

The people are the best though,  it’s 6:30 in the morning and walking from the hotel shop with some new toothpaste I come across an octogenarian woman in the lift complete with designer jeans, sparkly baseball cap, two “f**k off” diamond, sapphire and ruby rings zimmering into the casino with her husband on electric wheels on tow, nocturnal crowds of whooping young guys rolling dice, hypnotised  slot machine addicts feeding their machines, all sustained with food and drink by over enhanced waitresses in various states of undress!! And then there’s me with two tubes of toothpaste and my new sandals worried that somehow just walking past, I will be sucked into a vortex of debauchery and sin!!  

No such luck!

GRB

The Teenage View of Day 12 of America!

Today, believe it or not, could have been the most enjoyable day of the holiday! Most days, in New York mainly, have consisted of walking, looking, walking, some more looking, eating then sleeping. However today was a lot more laid back which made it more pleasant.
The day started off with a luxurious lie-in! Which is teenage heaven, especially if: you have a room to yourself, a double bed, a TV with endless channels and an iPhone with internet capabilities. Waking up to freshly toasted bagels with cream cheese topped it off!However, my surprising good mood, along with everybody’s, soon evaporated as we started to interact! Within 30 odd minutes after lunch, we were called to have one of those “positive” family conversations about next year’s holiday. We were told we had to “engage” and come up with some productive suggestions. It wasn’t very successful, with Carla and I not having much to say, and Kim producing nothing but verbal dihorreah. Anyway, we all seemed to forget about it and, as a family, we decided to go to the bicycle hire.
Usually weather in Cape Cod is 30-35°C with a high percentage of humidity, this wouldn’t be good for a cycle so we were lucky that the weather was overcast and the temperature was mild. The cycle wasn’t tiring and was mostly flat... which also made it more tolerable. We cycled for 20km or thereabouts, which I thought was quite impressive considering I thought our American outings would consist of sitting in fast food restaurants or diners pigging out on the greasiest and fattiest foods anyone has ever set eyes upon. Cycling turned out to be good fun, and we stopped off for ice-cream where I had my first proper taste of root-beer, which was brilliant.
We came back and lazed around the hotel for a bit, and set out for “Wendy’s”, the old fashioned burger fast food outlet. Carla and I had been looking forward to going to Wendy’s since New York, so we were psyched... and it duly delivered the best hamburger of the holiday. After this, we drove off to a drive in cinema, only to find the films showing were abysmal, so we had to go next door to an indoor cinema to see the new movie “Julie & Julia”. This is where the most bizarre thing happened. Bear in mind, Julie & Julia is a light hearted film but certainly not a comedy, however at every possible opportunity the whole audience seemed to laugh at the most unfunny things. Every line Meryl Streep seemed to say, or every look she did was met with hysterics by the Americans. I found myself chuckling to myself at the utter stupidity and fakeness of their unaccounted for laughing! Despite this distraction, I managed to enjoy the film thoroughly.
I’m not totally sure why I enjoyed this day so much more than the others, it was certainly better than the gay village or the statue of liberty day! It was more of a non-touristy American day, no sightseeing or anything like that. A look at American life - Cape Cod style, not the exuberance and energy of New York, but a down to earth view of America. It was the first day I think we all properly enjoyed together!

Cape Cod day 3...

Ok i do not know what to title this but anyway.

Yesterday I had barbeque spare ribs at lunch it was delicious!!! Somehow I had a dream about spare ribs land it was really weird but anyway.

So today was average and very very hot (humid as dad would say, he always corrects us when we say hot) , we all went to this place to have a boat ride round Hyannis port and saw some HUGE houses blah blah, the worst thing was it was so hot and we were wearing summer clothes (I was the only one wearing white), and it started to rain nonstop, I got see-through for the second time this holiday. It was just great!

We had lunch at some spanky's restaurant I mean what kind of name is spanky? The chips were average, chicken tasting non-free range YUK! I love little chickens they deserve better. I also had pink lemonade which after a while tasted of nothing. The water tasted like chlorine i didn't have much of it, i guess spanky is a wee bit quite bad. Kim had found icarly on the TV so I am enjoying the hotel a lot. There is a swimming pool(inside and out), and 4 tennis courts. It has a lovely huge beach which is surprisingly crowded after the tide has risen. We are pretty much watching the TV all the time mostly family guy. Kim and I are sometimes in our room watching icarly and SpongeBob and fairly odd parents. Mum keeps dissing icarly and poking me. L. Well I am pleased about everything else though. We have a TV each plus a bigger one in the living room. The kitchen has more space than I thought. We also have a bathroom for each bedroom. Kiran gets a big king sized bed and so does mum and dad Kim and I get a single bed each. I kind of miss home but we'll be back soon and I like it here in America so i don't want it to go TTTOOOOO fast. This is the second time i have gone somewhere without my teddy!!!! First was Gartmore. It's not bad at all. Anyways i am looking forward to watching more TV, lying in my bed more, eating some yummy food more, and doing fun stuff more.

I got quite some clothes, 2 T-shirts, skinny jeans, jumper, black slim jeans, and a pair of converse shoes. I also got same I <3 NY T-shirts from New York. I have had a good time here. :P xo

USA by Kimmm.

Well so far, America's been quite great. Apart from the few problems about the journey to New York, (having to change flights, me and Carla's aeroplane television screens not working, and major traffic jams) we just survived. To be honest, the food in New York wasn't that great, and did not have as many fat people as I thought there would be, though the scenery was great and I have been taking many pictures. The streets were mobbed and the weather was hot so I was not very happy being hot and sticky with people standing in my way. We met a few amazing people through our journey, including Bruce who helped us transfer our flights, and Crazy Lou who informed us about bus tours and I tell you he was crazy. We were dragged around tourist attractions, though I agreed in the end they were all worth it except the MoMA – Museum of Modern Art – because the actual museum was nowhere as near as good as the shop with fun toys and inventions, whereas the museum only had paintings, some were just a red paint splat on a piece of A4 paper.

New England has been really hot, which has got us all tanned (except for dad who is still white). Again, the scenery is great. The drive to New England was extremely long and so we had nothing to do except sleep. We got an upgrade in the Ocean Resort because our Grand Corner Suite was occupied and so we are staying in a villa right next to a beach. All of us have just been sitting in watching iCarly (hip hip horay), Family Guy and Spongebob Squarepants on the television, so as you can imagine mum and dad are not amused with it and have been trying to get us out of the villa.

Anyways, I miss everyone and I'll be hoping to see you soon.