Udaipur to Mount Abu

It's my turn again. So having happily allowed my family to hijack my blog two things have upset me.

1 – out of all the photos I have posted on FLICKR the one that has been picked out by a stranger as "outstanding" was one of Tina's – TYPICAL! When will the world (not just my big sister) realise just how talented I am?

2 – my children's afluenza continues to infect their view on this little adventure and is keeping it on a rather negative note which does not appear to be swayed by my constant lectures on positive thinking and reassurance that one day they will indeed thank us for taking them out of their far too comfortable zone.

One thing that overshadows any negativity is the fact that despite the fact I am the only one of the party who doesn't have a single Indian gene, I am the only one that hasn't suffered the ubiquitous Indian traveller's watery bottom. SMUG?! It may only be a matter of time. There was a close call in Udaipur where I thought there was going to be another one of my infamous outdoor toileting stories but this time off the back of a tourist boat with the pristine white of the Lake Palace Hotel as a back drop. Fortunately despite the waves of desire of faecal release I bravely hung on to my pride as well as my load!

So Udaipur was amazing. Out hotel room overlooked the "Lake Palace" made famous by 007, another Indian site outstripped in real life by any image. Watching the lake and palace change colour through sunset and then sunrise from our bedroom window was just the best.

Our dusty 6 hour drive out of the grey atmosphere of the Rajasthani plains into the relative clarity of Mount Abu was as entertaining as always with the road randomly alternating between half constructed 4 lane motorway to single track road with the usual assortment of vehicles of diesel belching trucks, buffalo drawn wooden wheeled carts and camels ridden by extras from Lawrence of Arabia. Touched by the grin of a 4 year old dusty son of a roadside "Chi Wala" as he takes an apple offered by Tina's mum and holds on to it with a prized expression, the apple becoming an exaggerated red in his hands.

A final one and a half hour gut wrenching 5000ft climb sees us reach our next destination. A petrol stop in Mount Abu makes me laugh as I spot a stall across the road with a massive sign extolling the virtues of Haig's Scotch Whiskey an unexpected Indian shrine to the sale of our national drink. Our hotel is not quite the 5* luxury enclave we have been spoiled with recently but I for one am pleased to be getting a little more authenticity into our trip and greatly enjoy that there is not much to do here except enjoy the clear air and cool temperatures. The kids once they got over that there was no free Wi-Fi connection to the internet settled into some more wholesome entertainment like a simple game of cards in the sun on the lawn with our Punjabi driver Ram Singh. OK so it's not authentic at all because during the game of cards I feel like I'm part of the great British Raj as we are being shadowed by the ever attendant and attentive staff serving us hand and foot.

As we set off on our morning tour with our local (completely toothless!) guide in our bus adorned with Hindu gods, a DVD blasting Hindu devotional songs and taken to a multitude of Hindu and Jain temples that it strikes me that back home the Christian equivalent would be making me little nervous that I was being kidnapped by some crazy "happy clappy" sect intent on converting my godless beliefs. Indian society, young and old, rich and poor is totally pervaded and infused with its seemingly infinite number of religious beliefs – there are at least 330 million different Hindu Gods alone and it leaves me both impressed and mystified.

The day is rounded off by taking up the suggestion of the guide to visit "Sunset Point" to, surprisingly, see the sunset. This sets off visions of a family moment in a remote and secluded spot to enjoy the spiritual purity of the setting a glorious Indian Sun. The brakes of the bus brings my imagination to a rather abrupt reality check THIS IS INDIA!!!!! Our family moment was to be shared by 10,000 others all heading for the same spot en masse in usual Indian style either on foot or horseback or uniquely to Mt Abu on glorified baggage trolleys made all the more hilarious because invariably the baggage are the horizontally challenged more affluent Indian middle class and the handlers are the skin and bone of the not so affluent. So as we all jostle for position and photograph wild monkeys feeding on street food shared by the crowd, I slowly realise that I'm the only "whitey" present and I too become part of the entertainment complying to polite requests of photos with random familly groups but to offers of a share of the same fantastic street food, fears of toilet terror tempers my appetite. As the sunset comes we are greatly amused by our guide who insists on an unnecessary running commentary "first it vill be yellow and den it vill be orange and den it vill be red and den it vill be finish" very difficult to stiffle a giggle into a polite smile. Of course no one mentions that this phenomenon is made all the more vivid by the pollution rising from the valley bellow but who cares, the anarchy makes its way back down to the town and we are off to eat and to bed.